February 2010
91 posts
txtsfrmlstnght:
(443): hows a nice way to say “yeah i would go to your dorm, but it’s snowing and I know you’re not going to blow me, so what’s the point”?
January 2010
71 posts
txtsfrmlstnght:
(914): he just fed my chickens on farmville…i guess that’s his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
“Nothing soothes pain like human touch.”
– Bobby Fischer (via somethingintellectual) (via lauroo)
txtsfrmlstnght:
(949): she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing “i have the golden ticket.” (949): little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(770): I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund… totally worked
txtsfrmlstnght:
(813): They’re donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don’t shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was “how”
txtsfrmlstnght:
(303): My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
txtsfrmlstnght:
(630): You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
soo tired...
txtsfrmlstnght:
(508): just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
txtsfrmlstnght:
(805): woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: “brreakfdast..pork and ice cream.”
i don't open up...and nobody knows me...i don't...
txtsfrmlstnght:
(508): I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that…twice (1-508): I respect that
txtsfrmlstnght:
(613): So, right as I’m cumming, I pull out and go “PYEW PYEW” like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
grace-less:
crushed:
n,
every single cell in our body is replaced every seven years. and by my calculations that means by october 2015 the person i will be will have never even touched you.
distance has widened and new things have grown in place. nothing is really forgotten but at this point it’s fluid. it’s taken me this long to encourage myself to stop wishing for a return or a sincere...
alone
txtsfrmlstnght:
(419): I woke up to a text that said “You’re a fucking asshole” Why is she so pissed at me? (937): Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming “THIS IS SPARTA” and kicking him in the balls. (419): Is that considered a cock block?
you know what i think? i think you're all a bunch...
